Lack Of Internet + Lack Of Time x Lack Of Ambition = Lack Of Writing

Today's lesson:  This last week has been horrible at work and at home.  I've opened up my Blogger dashboard a few times this last week just to stare stupidly at it for about an hour, and then close it back up again.  That is, whenever I could even get on the internet....

What did I learn?

• Well, for one, I learned that I'll write no matter what.  I just won't do it here.  I found an online tutorial for writing HTML.  I'm not that far, and the lessons are not all that sophisticated, but I thought it would be to my advantage to learn something about it.  It was posted up in 2000, but it still seems to work well.  So far anyway, I'm only on lesson 8d.
• My computer has a button that connects/disconnects me with the network.  Huh.  It's a shiny blue button that my kids like to mash.  That's nice to know.
• Mr. A has been trying to entice me into playing an online game with him.  I like video games, but I typically shy away from playing games with 1/2 the world.  This game, however, has a character builder that appeals to my super tedious nature. I don't have so much fun playing the game, but I'm having a great time making characters and then deleting them.
• There is no 3 Strikes Law for when illness hits me, my home and my work at the same time.  Oh, and for some reason, everyone else that's sick gets to take time off from work, but not me.
• My kids can smell weakness, fear and exhaustion.  I have the bite marks to prove it.
  

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe

1 Week x 2 Kids - Activity = Misc.

This lesson: I need a life. Here are the other miscellaneous "amazing" revelations I've gathered over the last week of complete inertia...

What did I learn?

• When I finally get around to doing laundry after ignoring it for a couple of weeks, it turns into a 15 load, 2 day chore.
• It is unwise to take your contacts out while holding a ninja kick flipping baby.
• The Law of Offspring #59 is The Vacation Law. It reads that "Any child, upon the rare miracle that the parents get a chance to sleep in, must choose from the following options: A) Stay up incredibly late B) Wake up screaming in the middle of the night C) Wake up incredibly early D) All of the above." My children mostly chose D for an entire week.
• Coke and chocolate liqueur do not mix. Bleh.
  
• I have a weird obsession with widgets. If I see one on someone else's blog, I want it immediately. This is what I spent most of the week doing. Just trying out various widgets and deleting most of them because I can't make them work. I need help.
  

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe

My Brain - 1 Week Of Sleep = IQ of 7

The Lesson: I wish I knew. After a week of tending to sick vampire kids and working, I have the mental capacity of a barnacle.

What did I learn?

• After you turn 30, falling asleep on the couch costs you the use of one of your body parts. The couch will exact it's preferred toll. Last night, it wanted my left shoulder.


• The more tired I am, the worse I dress. I walked out the door this morning in beige slacks that are 2 sizes too big, and low-cut black baby doll style shirt that is described on the tag as being 100% modal. Whatever the hell that is. Oh yeah, then stick a lime green lycra-spandex cami under the shirt. You're visualizing..... you're visualizing..... you're visualizing...... and......you're barfing.


• You know you're getting desperate when you have to drink an Amp at 10:00 at night in order to ensure that you're able to stay awake until your 10 month old finally falls asleep. Just for the record, I fell asleep at midnight. Not for long, but I did sleep.


• When it takes you more than 10 seconds to remember what your first name is, you should probably call in sick.


• http://www.papajohns.com/ is the best dinner you'll never cook (or leave your house for).

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe

Shower + Coffee < Sleep

This lesson: Why I don't co sleep or keep my kids in the same room at night. The last couple of nights we've all slept in the front room. I don't think we're going for a three-peat.

What did I learn?

• My son can sleep through anything but cartoons and his sister's crying.
  
• When the girl wakes up in the middle of the night, she cries just because she needs more sleep. She'll tell you this herself.
  
• My kids flail around like they're on fire when they sleep.
  
• My 11 month old son snores.
  
• My daughter gets pissy when she wakes up in the middle of the night and the TV isn't on/isn't playing cartoons. Hmmm. Must be broken.

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe