Valentines Day Horoscope

February 14, 2010

1. Taurus (4/20-5/20)

   If there was ever a time -- no, absolutely destined -- for the beginning of a romance, this, for you, is definitely it. All the cosmic lights are green. Very green. So when you're invited out, do yourself a favor. Forget all about washing your hair, doing your grocery shopping or any other shallow excuse you had lined up to avoid this. Get dressed -- nicely -- and go! 

Whoever writes this shit is creepily accurate.

• I am at the beginning of a romance...in the grand scheme of things.  We're in year 15 of, what could possibly be, a 50-year relationship.  I would qualify that as a beginning.
• I'm wearing green!
• I did not wash my hair today.
• I did not go grocery shopping even though we're almost out of milk and diapers.

Holy crap!  When I was invited to drink and play card games with Mr. A, I totally did.  I ditched all of my other plans, started pouring down the vodka and....

Yeah.  I'm drunk.  And will probably delete this tomorrow. 

Happy Valentines Day!!

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe

Alcohol + Video Games x Old Age = A Megaton Of Regret

This lesson: It's all about why I don't normally drink. In 1999, I was celebrating New Year and I partied a little too hard and got alcohol poisoning. Well, what do you want? The world was supposed to end. I got ripped off.

Flash forward to today, 10 years later and I still can't really drink right. I get sick whenever I smell alcohol.

What did I learn?

• When I mix Smirnoff Vanilla with Kahlua in Coke, there is no alcohol smell. Only vanilla and coke.
  
• It only took 3 glasses of this to get me completely wasted. Incidentally, it also got me curled up in a cold sweat on the bathroom floor this morning.
  
• Outlaw Golf for the Xbox is tons of fun. It's even more fun when you're wasted.
• Steve Carell is the announcer for Outlaw Golf. I wonder what they would have to pay him for that same gig today...
• Playing video games until 4:00 in the morning when you know your kids will wake up anytime after 5:00 is beyond stupid.
  

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe