Today's Horoscope

1. 
   

   Taurus (4/20-5/20)

   You're the master of ceremonies. You're a fountain of cheerfulness. You're slated to have big fun no matter what you end up doing with yourself. Since you probably went over all the possibilities in your last slow moment, you're ready to move as soon as the mood hits you. Maybe you're up for a fresh attack on a project that once defeated you. Maybe you'll paint bright colors all over something that usually bores you to tears. Whatever you do, do it with gusto.
   

 Dead on, horoscope.  Dead on.  What did I do today?

• Slept until 9:15.
• Turned on my fountain.
• Built houses in Sims 3.
• Washed some of the kids' clothes.
• Checked my email.

But I did do it all with gusto.

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe

1 Week x 2 Kids - Activity = Misc.

This lesson: I need a life. Here are the other miscellaneous "amazing" revelations I've gathered over the last week of complete inertia...

What did I learn?

• When I finally get around to doing laundry after ignoring it for a couple of weeks, it turns into a 15 load, 2 day chore.
• It is unwise to take your contacts out while holding a ninja kick flipping baby.
• The Law of Offspring #59 is The Vacation Law. It reads that "Any child, upon the rare miracle that the parents get a chance to sleep in, must choose from the following options: A) Stay up incredibly late B) Wake up screaming in the middle of the night C) Wake up incredibly early D) All of the above." My children mostly chose D for an entire week.
• Coke and chocolate liqueur do not mix. Bleh.
  
• I have a weird obsession with widgets. If I see one on someone else's blog, I want it immediately. This is what I spent most of the week doing. Just trying out various widgets and deleting most of them because I can't make them work. I need help.
  

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe

My Brain - 1 Week Of Sleep = IQ of 7

The Lesson: I wish I knew. After a week of tending to sick vampire kids and working, I have the mental capacity of a barnacle.

What did I learn?

• After you turn 30, falling asleep on the couch costs you the use of one of your body parts. The couch will exact it's preferred toll. Last night, it wanted my left shoulder.


• The more tired I am, the worse I dress. I walked out the door this morning in beige slacks that are 2 sizes too big, and low-cut black baby doll style shirt that is described on the tag as being 100% modal. Whatever the hell that is. Oh yeah, then stick a lime green lycra-spandex cami under the shirt. You're visualizing..... you're visualizing..... you're visualizing...... and......you're barfing.


• You know you're getting desperate when you have to drink an Amp at 10:00 at night in order to ensure that you're able to stay awake until your 10 month old finally falls asleep. Just for the record, I fell asleep at midnight. Not for long, but I did sleep.


• When it takes you more than 10 seconds to remember what your first name is, you should probably call in sick.


• http://www.papajohns.com/ is the best dinner you'll never cook (or leave your house for).

"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe