Have you ever wondered why truth is stranger than fiction? This, and many other topics will never be explored here. You will mostly find half-assed posts about crap I've thought about for 2 seconds. (I really need to work on my promotion skills.)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Special Occasion + Hubby = Child Sickness


This lesson: Hubby is not allowed to have a special occasion of any kind honoring only him. The minute he's thinking he's going to get a special day, one or both of the kids turn up sick.

What did I learn?


  • Some asshole, who will remain nameless, has encouraged my daughter to pick her nose then hand it to you. In your hand. Kleenex will not do.

  • When the baby is making gaggy noises, sometimes it's because he wants to spew pea soup all down the front of you.

  • Sick babies don't like diapers.

  • Masking tape is great for keeping diapers on sick babies.

  • Clingy babies are counterproductive. Unless you want to sit on your ass and look up stupid crap on the internet all day. Hey everyone! Did you know that people like to make earrings out of Manus Island tree snails? So much so that they are now close to extinction. Gosh, I'm ready for Jeopardy! now.


"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. Joe

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