tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39325763423759428552024-02-07T20:03:14.050-07:00Things I Never Wanted To KnowYou learn something new every day. Whether you want to or not.Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-36558619724214908392011-04-14T20:52:00.000-07:002011-04-14T20:52:52.036-07:00I Think Casey Jones Wrote My Horoscope Today
I also don't believe that anyone should "shop shoveling coal..."
"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. JoeAwesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-42604410616790465122011-03-30T09:14:00.000-07:002011-03-30T09:14:12.120-07:00Your 30s: The Myth
Congratulations on making it to your 30s. If you weren’t already depressed about being a ‘real adult,’ let me thrill you with what you can expect from this decade of your life.
1. If they haven’t already, cashiers and waiters will stop asking you for ID when buying alcohol. Instead, what you get when you try to hand them your card is a very condescending, “That’s okay; I can see your gray Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-69796521600351542972010-09-04T19:47:00.000-07:002010-09-04T19:47:42.285-07:00I'll Shoot Your Eye OutI've never fired a gun in my life until today. It's not that I don't like guns, or that I'm afraid of them; I just have never had a real use for them. Mr. A has been trying to drag me out shooting for years. Today I finally said, "Okaaaaaaay..."
I actually had a lot of fun! Yeah, I'm surprised. What was even more surprising is that I didn't do too bad:
This was my first target. I Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-55804292259408600472010-07-17T11:17:00.000-07:002010-07-17T11:17:09.822-07:00MotivationThis video was a huge eye-opener for me. As a manager of a small group of professionals, I'm always looking for ways to keep the team motivated and keep everyone engaged in their work. The information I gathered here helps me approach this work from a different perspective.
Awesomeness!
"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. JoeAwesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-58118512937697523412010-07-10T19:21:00.000-07:002010-07-10T19:21:41.660-07:00Sad Cat VideoProof that cats are not always heartless, aloof creatures.
"Knowing is half the battle." - G.I. JoeAwesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-56959107063177808822010-05-09T10:13:00.000-07:002010-05-09T10:13:10.349-07:00Let's Get Physical
So, now that I'm no longer about to die, I've decided to get serious again about my workout. In the past this has not been a hugely successful endeavor because, inevitably, all of the following happens:
The kids scream the whole time I'm out of the room. I can hear them no matter how high the volume is on my iPod.
Mr. A warns me that he has a raid (WoW) in 30 minutes so I'd better Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-14142414489366559482010-04-18T19:51:00.000-07:002010-04-18T19:51:02.241-07:00Idle Hands
Today I'm resting from a week of slowly dying. I usually sit around for a good span of time on my days off, but I have a problem with sitting in one place for too long. I get twitchy. Today I'm not giving myself any excuses though. I've been pushing myself too hard all week and now this is the result whether I like it or not. So this is how my day has gone (any Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-59616185523852559032010-04-03T07:43:00.000-07:002010-04-03T07:43:59.430-07:00Oh Yeah Star Wars, You Sexy Bitch!
Yesterday morning started out the same way it always does. I got up at 5:00, made coffee, zoned out for about 1/2 an hour. Eventually I have to get up to do the work thing, so I put my coffee cup away and take my laptop back to the office to find:
Mr. A.
naked
sitting in his office chair
with a sock in his hand
and so I look at his computer screen
no porn
I'm confused
or Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-84867362975156603342010-03-28T18:22:00.000-07:002010-03-28T18:22:50.178-07:00The New Look
So I got bored and changed some things around. I'd never really liked the dragon template, but it's a pain-in-the ass to find something you like, make sure it functions and suits your blog's overall theme. (Well, the last one I guess I don't have to worry about much, since this blog doesn't have much of an actual theme.) I ended up with the 1980s dragon-looking thing because,Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-66972280068374644492010-02-21T11:54:00.000-07:002010-02-21T11:54:25.387-07:00Confession (That I May Want To Take Back Later)
I never liked babysitting. I did it anyway because it was the only way for a teenager to make money without having to a) apply and interview for anything and b) work with food. I really didn't like having to try to figure out what to do with the kids for _____ hours until their parents came home. I hated changing diapers. I was absolutely no good when it came to Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-86201255265318526012010-02-15T00:11:00.000-07:002010-02-15T00:11:08.282-07:00Valentines Day HoroscopeFebruary 14, 2010 Taurus (4/20-5/20)If there was ever a time -- no, absolutely destined -- for the beginning of a romance, this, for you, is definitely it. All the cosmic lights are green. Very green. So when you're invited out, do yourself a favor. Forget all about washing your hair, doing your grocery shopping or any other shallow excuse you had lined up to avoid this. Get dressed -- Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-25807058318547804152010-02-07T14:17:00.000-07:002010-02-07T14:17:15.483-07:00Doesn't That FigureI went back to the My Heritage site because it has all kinds of fun little doohickies to play with.
This time, I did the Look-Alike Meter. This will tell you if your child looks more like mom or dad. Before I did this, I always thought that my daughter looked more like her dad and my son looked more like me. Now I know:
MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celeb - Collage - Morph
Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-75417176388567327372010-01-31T20:20:00.000-07:002010-01-31T20:20:45.286-07:00Something I Did Want To Know....This was my celebrity look-alike photo collage from MyHeritage.com:
I uploaded my photo
And this is what it came up with
I swear I didn't cheat! And just to be fair, I will admit that the format for the collage I chose only allows for 8 of my look-alikes to appear. The other 2 that I did not include:
Antonio Banderas
Jared Padalecki
I mean, at least they were hot guys, but seriously.Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-11867717218280407272010-01-24T13:32:00.000-07:002010-01-24T13:32:51.165-07:00Drunken Mario
Mr. A and I are not a cutesy, hand-holding kind of couple. As a matter of fact, our quality time usually consists of getting plastered and trying to kick each others ass.
At games. All in good fun, I assure you.
Last night was New Super Mario Bros. Wii night at the Awesomehouse. Specifically, the Coin Battle mode. Time to get our game vocab straight:
Cock-ass: Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-89295882123952434152010-01-12T00:05:00.000-07:002010-01-12T00:05:13.201-07:00Minus Clever Theme = Mindless Rambling MondayI'm not making fun, I swear, but I struggle with finding something that I can focus on to make a post. I keep scrolling through my blogroll -- the out-of-control laundry list that it's become -- and am bombarded by day-themed titles assault me with their productiveness. (I'm so lazy and disengaged from this post that I'm not even looking at this when I type, I'm trying to catch The Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-91543154788876006202010-01-03T16:56:00.002-07:002010-03-28T20:56:53.444-07:00How 'Bout A Nice Warm Glass Of 'Shut The Hell Up'?
If I knew it was that easy, I would have done it a long time ago. Oh, the peace! Oh, the quiet! Today I figured out how to simultaneously shut my husband up and get him to stop bitching to me about what the kids are doing.
Mr. Awesomeness: I just want you to know that your son just ate your daughter's shoe. I took it from his hand, which is covered in poop. Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-89418965493742779202009-12-25T11:52:00.000-07:002009-12-25T11:52:23.343-07:00Merry Grinchmas!
Santa brought many wonderful presents to the AwesomeHouse this year. Then The Grinch had to show up bearing gifts. What did he bring this year?
For the girl: A fever of 104.
For the boy: Sore throat, diarrhea and severe diaper rash.
For Mr. A: A trip to Walgreens because some asshole, who will remain nameless (Grandma), didn't bother to call us while we were out yesterday to tell Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-47325431113377288032009-12-13T15:04:00.000-07:002009-12-13T15:04:00.771-07:00After The Warranty
I've spent my vacation watching everything in the house fall apart around me.
My TV. We bought it 7 years ago. For the last 2 years, it's been acting up a little. There have been times when there were red spots coming out the right side of the screen. That was easy to ignore. Then on Tuesday the screen went dark. Not all the way black, just dark. Ugh.Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-89036749512992313322009-12-08T19:42:00.000-07:002009-12-08T19:42:53.005-07:00Today's Horoscope
Taurus (4/20-5/20)You're the master of ceremonies. You're a fountain of cheerfulness. You're slated to have big fun no matter what you end up doing with yourself. Since you probably went over all the possibilities in your last slow moment, you're ready to move as soon as the mood hits you. Maybe you're up for a fresh attack on a project that once defeated you. Maybe you'll paint bright Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-14630723049056888732009-11-16T07:08:00.000-07:002009-11-16T07:08:08.124-07:00It's Different When It's Your Kid
How much do you want to bet?
My entire life, I've found body fluids horrifically disgusting. Blood, pee, vomit, whatever. I can't deal with it. I put off having kids for years and years (for many reasons) knowing that I would have to deal with all of this stuff if I changed my mind and had them.
Now, I've got a 3 1/2 year old girl with a very upset stomach. I'm by Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-7777004683799011642009-10-19T23:05:00.000-07:002009-10-19T23:05:54.765-07:00Men Aren't From Mars
Men aren't from Mars. They're lazy, conniving jerks. "Harsh!" "Gosh, what man-hating vileness!" Naw, I don't think so. So here's the warning for anyone who might not like what I'm about to say (men). I'm mad at everyone with a Y chromosome today and it's not going to get better until I get it off my chest.
This just has to be the oldest con in recorded Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-71101502631195021942009-10-13T20:38:00.000-07:002009-10-13T20:38:33.534-07:00Awkwardness
Today I learned that doing my job formally is much, much easier than doing it informally. As a part of my job, I often coach other people in my position. I routinely visit them in their offices and assist them with their work. I also audit their work.
Last month, I was asked by my manager to do this in an informal (undocumented, unofficial) capacity at one of our other Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-87734640885033554282009-09-26T09:38:00.000-07:002009-09-26T09:38:09.233-07:00Dumb Laws
Okay, so I finally got some sleep and I'm ready to go again...I think.
Today, I'm looking at dumb laws. I'm typically a law-abiding citizen (I speed sometimes), so I want to make sure that I know where my boundaries are. In the state that I live in, some of the laws I must follow are:
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
Well, I own zero dildos, so: check.
Any Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-56341919769627803932009-09-16T20:59:00.000-07:002009-09-16T20:59:17.892-07:00Structured Format - (Topics +Time + Imagination) = To Hell With It
All right. I gave my little gimmicky format a good run. I wanted to challenge myself to stick to a particular format with this blog so I didn't find myself in a desperate rut and post crap like:
What did I learn today? Life sucks. or
The world's youngest parents were from China in 1910. They were 8 and 9. The 5-point "lesson" was the reason most of my posts got Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3932576342375942855.post-45841661971990899352009-09-09T05:59:00.000-07:002009-09-09T05:59:12.909-07:00Lack Of Internet + Lack Of Time x Lack Of Ambition = Lack Of Writing
Today's lesson: This last week has been horrible at work and at home. I've opened up my Blogger dashboard a few times this last week just to stare stupidly at it for about an hour, and then close it back up again. That is, whenever I could even get on the internet....
What did I learn?
Well, for one, I learned that I'll write no matter what. I just won't do it here.&Awesomenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04287546884457969956noreply@blogger.com0